Asking a Favor 101

(Disclaimer: This is not directed at you, Cathy!)

People are constantly asking me to do things for them. After all, that's pretty much the role of a wife and mother. Will you wash my socks? Will you button my shirt? Will you make me something to eat? Will you sacrifice 99.8% of your personal time to attend to my every whim?

So yeah, I'm pretty used to requests and, for the most part, I'm more or less happy to oblige. But every once in a while, a request will come my way that - for whatever reason - I'm just not particularly inclined to accept.

I used to have this horrible affliction in which I would open my mouth to say "no", but "yes" would fly out instead. Every. Single. Time. It was terrible, and it was draining. The older that I get, the less trouble I have with dropping the N-word, though, and usually, people are reasonable enough to understand when you say no.

Sometimes that's not the case.

So, with the intent to inform and perhaps amuse, here are some helpful do's and don'ts for the next time that you'd like to ask a favor of yours truly.

DO: Ask nicely, with as much information about your request as possible.

DON'T: Drop hints repeatedly over the course of several days, ultimately ending with a request for me to do something that you've been implying that you were going to do yourself.

DO: Understand that your request is likely a demand on my time, which is a precious commodity, and realize that sometimes I will have to say no due to prior engagements, even though I'll likely feel horrible about it.

DON'T: Take it personally if I say NO.

DON'T: Attempt to put me in an uncomfortable situation with another person in order to spare you from a job that you don't want to do yourself.

DON'T: Remind me of how much I OWE you a favor if I say NO.

DON'T: Try to guilt me into changing my mind once I've said NO.

DON'T: Nag, whine, complain, pout, huff, stomp, slam and/or kick doors if I say NO. These behaviors are unlikely to make me change my mind, and make you look like an overgrown two-year-old to boot.

DO: Be nice to me if you want me to do something nice for you.

This has been a public service announcement. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog, already in progress.