Thursday, April 28, 2011

I am SO SICK...

...of feeling so sick! This little green chick looks about the way I feel right now...the way I have felt for three weeks now.

I saw a doctor just a few days after I started feeling bad, to be sure I wasn't contagious before heading to the hospital to doula for my friend. They told me that I had a sinus infection and an ear infection, gave me an antibiotic and a note saying that I was clear for duty, and sent me on my way.

But something tells me this isn't your run-of-the-mill sinus infection. For one thing, the antibiotics didn't touch it. Granted, lots of bugs are becoming resistant to antibiotics due to their overuse. But I rarely touch an antibiotic. I try to avoid them at all cost, actually. I'm sure I haven't had one since my gallbladder surgery in 2004, if I had them then - I was too out of it to know exactly what all they were pumping into me. I only remember vividly that the morphine didn't work.

Pollen levels have been ridiculously high this month, which leads me to wonder if allergies may be contributing to my current state of wretchedness. I've never had problems with seasonal allergies before, but it would be my luck to develop them out of the blue. Rachael has been sniffly this week too, so maybe they're bothering her as well.

There's definitely still something going on with my ear, though - I can barely hear out of my left ear, and I feel downright elderly when I keep having to tell the children to "SPEAK UP!!"

I really don't want to go back to the doctor, but it may come to that. Antibiotics, Nyquil, allergy meds, vitamins, liquids, rest (although not much of that, since I've had to carry on as usual all month long) - nothing seems to help.

Have you ever cried really hard, for a really long time? That's what my head feels a stopped-up ear and a headache nearly every single day.

Yes, I'm sick of being sick.

What's worse, feeling bad is clearly (and justifiably) messing with my mood as well. I'm not a happy camper. Nearly everything and everyone is ticking me off right now. Gene may say that this is nothing unusual, but it really is. I've had my feelings hurt more in the past week than I have in a long time...granted, a couple of incidents would have hurt my feelings even if I'd felt wonderful. I'm irritated at the world. I want to crawl into bed and pull my covers over my head and stay there until at least June - and I may not come out then except that I'm already looking forward to Olive Garden on my birthday.

I've gotten better (in my old age) about hiding my bad mood in my back pocket, though, and trudging on with my required tasks whether I feel like it or not. After all, things need to be done, and who else is going to do them?

* * * * *
In other news...tadpoles are jealous little cannibals.

Two weeks ago, we liberated nine tadpoles (via empty Coke bottle and styrofoam cup) from a puddle behind my stepdad's warehouse. I had picked up a froggy terrarium on clearance at Target last fall, and was just waiting to find tadpoles to fill it with. One of them was noticeably larger than his puddle-mates, and already had little bumps where his back legs would soon sprout. I named him Michigan J. and kept a close eye on him.

Within a couple of days, he had two tiny, nearly transparent back legs. They grew longer and thicker, and in a few more days, there were bumps where front legs would be. Then the front legs sprouted, and his eyes started becoming larger and frog-like...although he looked more like a lizard, since he still had a tail. It was amazing to watch.

On Monday night, I checked the terrarium and was surprised to find a tiny little frog peering back at me from the water. Michigan's tail had absorbed, and he was all froggy now...but he was very still. VERY still. A little too still. :( The next morning, poor Michigan was belly-up in the water, and his siblings were having a feast. It was disgusting...but it was nature. Thankfully, Rachael didn't notice during the very grossest part...nor did she see much of the aftermath. She only noted that the other tadpoles were "pulling" at something, and deduced for herself what was going on. She was pretty angry with the other tadpoles, but she understood...that's what they do.

None of the others have started sprouting legs yet, and I wish they'd hurry up. Rachael has christened the (now) largest tadpole Kermit, and it probably won't be much longer for him.

Poor Kermy. He'd better watch his back.

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