Yesterday I mentioned being grateful for difficult people, who remind me of the attitudes I don't want. But how much more grateful I am for the very, very few people that I actually consider my friends.
Some people have tons of friends. I never have. I've always been more of a "one best friend" type of girl, and I don't consider anyone a true friend until I've known them for quite some time. Sure, I have tons of very nice acquaintances that I enjoy spending time with on occasion, and I am grateful for them too. But as actress Marlene Dietrich once said, "it's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter."
I could count those people on one hand and have a couple of fingers to spare.
The older I get, the less inclined I am to form new friendships. The simple truth is that women tend to be catty, passive-aggressive, competitive, and disloyal in their friendships - and I don't have the emotional energy for "friends" like that. Although I can't avoid them entirely, I have made a conscious choice to distance myself from these people as much as possible.
And so I am especially grateful for the friends who are fiercely loyal. Who can always make me laugh. Who understand me best. I am grateful for the friendships that pick right up where we left off even when we don't talk to each other as often as I'd like. For the ones that have survived the test of time, and for the ones that I think just might.
(Although I don't want to list each one by name, I will also say that I am especially grateful for Stephanie, who has been my friend the longest, who fits all of the above criteria and so much more. I don't think any two people anywhere have more inside jokes. No one makes me smile like you can!)
I think the older we get, the more we realize what a real friend is. Then we recognize that we have a lot of "not so real" friends in our lives and we let them go.
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying your gratitude posts!
Sarah